Stories to feel less alone.
Ideas to carry with you.

After six plus years of trauma recovery more realizations are forthcoming. 🙂 For many years, I carried the deep pain of being distanced from my…

Survivors of childhood trauma often struggle with the confusion stemming from a lack of boundaries and respect for their bodies, which is a significant challenge…

Those who lack empathy don’t like it when what they’ve done is brought up again and again, while you work through the trauma they caused.…

Have you ever felt the sting of a double standard — where someone expects grace, understanding, or respect from you, but offers little of it…

Six years ago I began the hardest season of my life — of working through my childhood trauma. In the early stages of the trauma…

This image holds a powerful reminder of how our perceptions can be misleading. It’s a photo of rocks that, from a particular angle, appear as…

The environment I grew up in didn’t feel warm and loving. It seemed that more energy was put into punishing a mistake than teaching how…

Discrediting a person is a common behaviour from someone who feels afraid, shameful, or jealous. Sometimes it comes from sheer ignorance. To those who receive…

There is a blog I previously wrote on Grooming behaviours. I created a webinar on Grooming and have now written a book on the topic.…

I feel sorry for those who don’t understand the impact of interpersonal trauma, which is what childhood trauma is. Doing the hard work at figuring…

Perhaps you’ve heard the term scapegoat or scapegoating before. After learning more about it — and from personal experience — I’m sharing what I…

If we consider ourselves amongst those who empathize, respect and dignify others, we interact with others with an underlying assumption that those we cross paths…

Forgiveness and letting go is a hard pill to swallow for nearly all childhood trauma survivors. When this topic is broached too early in the…

Why did you let it happen? In the past this question was either thought of or asked of one who survived sexual assault or sexual…

Before we get started 😊 —Let’s be clear on the meaning of various words. Siblings are identified as full siblings, half-siblings, step-siblings, foster siblings,…

Why don’t you just pray about it? ** Possible Trigger Warning The quick reply I’d give is: What makes you think I don’t?…

Why do I blog? Well, the short answer is because it is part of what I need to do to heal from childhood trauma. Telling…

Most of us would shudder to ever think that we would enable a predator or an abuser to abuse a child. To enable is defined…

As I follow my trauma recovery journey I’ve come to see that I had control issues with certain people, and I think it showed up…

Grooming has been talked about and related to child sexual abuse a lot recently. Especially when it is done by those in positions of authority…

Am I broken? Childhood trauma survivors usually wonder this because they feel so shattered from the pain they endure(d). This pain is so overwhelming that…

I’m not talking about transcendental meditation or any other type of meditation that involves anything hokey or Woo Woo type of stuff. Mindful Mediation is…

Breaking Free! You know that brand new skin that shows up after the scab comes off? The skin that is tender still, is pink, and…

When we have been abused physically, sexually, or emotionally as a child we don’t know what to do with the horrible feelings that we have…

What is my worth? This is a HARD question. And for a childhood trauma survivor it can shut you down, completely, just contemplating it. Why?…

Did you grow up in a family where it was said or implied that ‘what happens in this house stays in this house’? Or perhaps,…

What is Normal for you? One thing that has become clear as I continue in my education and trauma recovery coaching is that only after…

Childhood trauma often includes Emotional Neglect aka Emotional Abandonment. Emotional neglect is extremely painful for it sends the message that our feelings, opinions, needs and…

Time to say Goodbye For the last few months – since the middle of May – LOSS as been camped at my doorstep.…

Silence – that is the biggest thing any perpetrator or abuser wants. Silence at any cost, no matter what. Silence ONLY benefits the perpetrator,…

Dear Me, My dear little Lisa, I am letting you know that you deserved better treatment. You deserved better. You deserved to be held, cuddled,…

Have you reached a time in your life that certain behaviours or some mindsets aren’t quite working for you anymore? Are you noticing challenges socially,…

Where am I in June 2022? Nearly 4 years into doing the really hard work of trauma recovery, this month I’m looking back. It’s…

When we have been abused physically, sexually, or emotionally in childhood we don’t know what to do with the horrible feelings that remain inside of…

I’m starting to learn about IFS – Internal Family Systems. In looking at my childhood trauma through an IFS lens I’m realizing that many parts…

Looking back, I am beginning to think I’ve lived pretty much the past 50+ years in various forms of dissociation. It’s amazing really, how the…

Throughout my teen years and early adulthood, I carried a fragmented memory—something that happened when I was about four or five, something I didn’t have…

Have you heard of Cognitive Dissonance? Are you aware of what it is? Have you seen it in action in yourself? In others? What can…

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN LEFT ….. D A N G L I N G ? I have….. many times, literally and metaphorically. Have you noticed…

After hearing Brené’s podcast with Harriet Lerner on Apologizing I was reminded of some important truths: Those who’ve done the most damage often is the…

To answer this question, it would be helpful to be clear on how therapy and coaching support those who’ve suffered and survived egregious violations.…

UNCODITIONAL LOVE – Previously I’ve shared on FB my aha moment of what *belonging to me* now means. That realization was monumental and huge leap…

Thought about the word Home today, as I was walking around a bird sanctuary. What feelings, emotions and thoughts come to mind when you hear…

Looking out my living room window I see tree branches moving, I hear the wind blowing against my home, I see rain drops against the…

FMS began its inception in the late 1980’s and by 1992 there was a foundation called FMSF. Founded by the parents of Jennifer Freyd, whose…

SEPTEMBER 2021 LOOKING BACK today I can see how far I have come as now I am three years into my full-on trauma recovery.…

Have you reached a time in your life that certain behaviours or some mindsets aren’t quite working for you anymore? Are you noticing challenges socially,…

Awareness of what happened to us as children [the abuse and neglect] and how it impacted life from the first incident [anchor trauma] onwards truly…

This means to hold in high regard or esteem, admiration given by others Boundaries are all wrapped up in respect, respect for self first and…

As you know I’ve been reading more about Gaslighting lately and have come to learn that true Gaslighting is a type of communication that is…

After hearing Brene’s podcast with Harriet Lerner on Apologizing I was reminded of some important truths: Those who’ve done the most damage often are the…

Why is my memory not working right? Lab tests have shown that when trauma happens, the frontal lobe shuts down, including the region necessary to…

How familiar are you with the topic of Spiritual Abuse, Emotional Abandonment and Child Abuse? I often have heard that child abuse is Spiritual Abuse…

Have you heard of CD? Are you aware of What it is? Have you seen it in action in yourself? In others? What can you…

IN APRIL 2020, I was into my 20th month of full-on healing from being retraumatized by the same abuser who sexually assaulted me when I…

Awareness of what happened to us as children [the abuse and neglect] and how it impacted life from the first incident [anchor trauma] onwards truly…

As you know I’ve been reading more about Gaslighting lately and have come to learn that true Gaslighting is a type of communication that is…

A few days ago, I woke up with a couple of things swirling in my head. Some of which involved what I learned in my…