UNCODITIONAL LOVE – Previously I’ve shared on FB my aha moment of what *belonging to me* now means. That realization was monumental and huge leap in my trauma recovery journey. This opening door allowed me to experience something new. Now there is the ability to give myself unconditional love.
If we’ve never experienced unconditional love from our parents or primary caregiver, we don’t know what that kind of love feels like nor looks like. We may even judge it as ‘a way that people can take advantage’ and let’s be frank here, who wants to be taken advantage of? So again, here’s more fear-based thinking that we just accept while growing up as ‘normal’. Until….. there is self awareness – beginning with an analysis of personal values and doing the hard work of shedding unwanted thoughts and behaviour patterns, then we become ready to fully adopt the ones we like – the ones that make life richer and happier and support living life authentically.
This includes eliminating the lies that abuse and neglect force us to swallow which are: that we are to blame for the abuse, that we should be ashamed of ourselves, that we are unworthy of love and respect and that we are powerless to change. This is all part of the work of “making our minds over”. The more I do Trauma Recovery Coaching, the more I see how much Shame has influenced behaviours, attitudes, outlooks, relationships, marriages, employment, etc. It truly lives everywhere.
Healing to this point where being able to give myself that unconditional love is FANTASTIC! It brings mental and emotional freedom that clears the path in so many ways. It is a bit scary at times because it is such a new experience. That said, giving myself the love and compassion that I missed out on still is healing and helps me be more loving, understanding and patient towards others too.
This article explains simply the physiological, mental, and relational benefits of receiving unconditional love. And if we didn’t receive that while growing up, all is not lost because us abuse survivors can still ‘parent’ ourselves and we can live authentic and emotionally healthy lives.