A few days ago, I woke up with a couple of things swirling in my head. Some of which involved what I learned in my TR Coaching course- How we as coaches want to help our clients see that they have Voice and Choice. So… Voice and Choice… hmmmm. …. Then I thought, “How do I live knowing deep within that I have Voice and Choice?” “What does that look like, feel like to me?”
Healing from Complex PTSD [and I’ve called it various names: Childhood Trauma, Complex Trauma, Developmental Trauma, Childhood Sexual abuse, Childhood Abuse trauma, C-PTSD] is a life-long journey and one of the ‘silver linings’ of recovering from C-PTSD are the things we learn about ourselves, and how the physiological, psychological and relational damage that ensued now explains actions, choices, challenges and triumphs.
To be able to understand the WHYs in my life has helped me sooo much. I cannot explain really the sense of jubilation I feel when I have these epiphanies after I’ve learned a word or a name that describes what was going on in my head or body or what certain behaviours were that I experienced which left me feeling sad and disrespected. Some of the silver linings are gaining emotional literacy and ability to for self-compassion. The harsh self-judgement and the negative natterer that lived in my head has pretty much disappeared. Having that relief gifts me the freedom to be able to do more for others with greater joy. I don’t feel like I am being ‘held back’ when it comes to reaching out and connecting with others.
So this Voice and Choice. All along I’ve tried to use my voice and the frustrating part of doing that is being treated with disrespect while doing so. And yet, this hasn’t stopped me. My choice is to use my voice. I write of my healing journey so that other abuse victims can see and know that they are not alone. As said before, childhood abuse victims grow up feeling so alone, isolated and like they don’t belong anywhere. I feel such empathy and compassion for those who struggle with these same feelings. I know how debilitating they are.
Honouring the ability to choose, helps build confidence and regain a sense of empowerment – all things that childhood sexual abuse took away from me. Sharing my experiences is my gift of understanding and compassion to them, to you. It’s important that I give and live the message that as a fellow childhood trauma survivor, please know you are NOT alone.
If you’d like to learn more of how you can enhance your voice and choice, please send me an email and let’s make a plan.
Lisa Hilton is a Certified Trauma Recovery Coach, working with adult survivors of childhood trauma who are seeking more of an interactive and client-led approach to healing. I believe that you have the what’s needed to heal. I’m here to hold a safe space for you to tap into that so you can grow, learn, and thrive.