I’m not talking about transcendental meditation or any other type of meditation that involves anything hokey or Woo Woo type of stuff.
Mindful Mediation is about teaching your brain and your body to reconnect.
As Child Trauma survivors, we had to learn how to ignore or shelve away the awful emotions and feelings we had. Over time, we ended up being disconnected to the point we may have felt that we even lived on the outside of our lives, looking in. This is one of the many sensations of dissociation – that feeling of disconnection to self. Most of us have carried on, ignoring part of ourselves because we forgot that something was missing. Instead we may have felt an urge to go and ‘find ourselves’ through various means. And did you? Did I? find ourselves in this manner? Perhaps to an extent.
Now we are adults and are starting to notice various unhealthy patterns of behaviour or choices that do not make our lives better, or easier, or richer. Rather, we have ended up feeling even more on the outside, or more frustrated with the poor choices we have made, especially when it comes to relationships, and so on. Again, feeling more disconnected to what and who and where we want to be or think we should be.
Remember, we are human beings, not human doings. It is really hard to connect to ourselves when part of our life experiences are locked away and or forgotten. How can we feel really connected to another being if we are not even truly connected to ourselves?
This is where mindful meditation comes in. This practice allows us to gently reconnect to ourselves within. We may have spent so many years, perhaps decades not wanting to look inside. It’s scary, dark and we don’t think we’re going to like what we find. So meditation is labled as Silly or Stupid or hocus pocus kinda stuff. So what is it really that you’re afraid to find out about yourself? What is it that I am afraid to learn? We all have secrets and shame LOVES secrets.
Mindfulness practice allows us to build the skill to notice what’s going on inside, without judgement. Just notice, be curious, be open to that feeling or sensation or response that’s happening at the moment. We won’t notice until we’ve started the practice of deliberately noticing and learning to look within.
Start with one minute a day. Even before getting out of bed, notice where you are, where your body is, notice the feeling of the mattress supporting you. Notice the warm covers laying over top of you. Notice the air in the room, notice any aches or pains, notice if you feel anxious or notice if your thoughts are already starting to race or that you’re already wanting to get up and start the day. Just stay in that minute and notice. Take a few deep breathes and be thankful that you woke up, smile and then get up.
Start noticing. This is a mindfulness practice. This is a step forward in the trauma recovery journey of healing.