Machiavellianism – The Second Assault – April 8 2026

Now that I have relocated to be closer to my sons and their families, it puts me close to where I grew up. This means old memories are surfacing and I am processing more. That’s OK. This always helps me gain more clarity and supports the ongoing healing and growth process. Lately I’ve been thinking about Machiavellianism because, like most CPTSD survivors, I look for information that explains who people are and why they do what they do. In identifying behaviours and their impact, it helps me have clarity on what is “mine” and what isn’t.

The following is what I’ve seen in the one who sexually assaulted me - with his self-centered schemes to deflect and avoid accountability after disclosure.

While I’ve mentioned these strategies previously it now feels right to put them under one umbrella.

So, from this lens I write this blog – to share my experience, shedding light on certain behaviours and offering the reader the opportunity to see if this is something that you too are dealing with. Disclaimer – I am not a licensed psychologist, psychiatrist, or therapist. I cannot and do not diagnose.

That said, I do know what I experienced and what I saw and heard. As the saying goes: You have to name it to tame it.

When I finally found the words to speak of the sexual abuse, I didn't find a path to justice; I found a complex, Machiavellian system designed to ensure my silence. I’ve come to realize that for a calculated manipulator, the original act of sexual assault was only the first violation. The Second Assault is the post-abuse grooming: the systematic management of the narrative to protect his reputation at the cost of mine. I learned to see the machinery of this for what it is. By naming these tactics, I take back the power he tried to bury.

In our family, faith was the highest currency, so it was the first thing he weaponized. He told me, God won't forgive you if you don't forgive me. He was insinuating that If I were truly spiritual, I would let this go.

Not only is this ignorance talking – It is also the Weaponization of Faith and Forgiveness. It creates a moral injury, making you feel like a spiritual failure and ashamed for having normal human reactions to trauma. Therefore, I learned that forgiveness is not a gag order. Forgiveness takes time. It is a gradual internal release of the trauma for my own healing and recovery; it is not a legal contract that wipes away the past. Using God to silence a victim is the very definition of taking a holy name in vain.

He didn't stop at forgiveness. He used High-stakes Leverage, suggesting that speaking the truth would jeopardize my salvation or my chance to see my father again in the resurrection. He turned speaking about my trauma into a threat to my eternal future. He misapplied scripture and implied that telling my story is malicious gossip, divisive, and unchristian.

And yet, truth is a requirement for peace - for salvation. No spiritual system based on truth can require a lie to function. If a family’s hope of preservation is built on the silence of a victim, that hope is fragile and false. The Truth is more important than reputation.

There was an incident where he tried to be the picture of Christ-like concern. He shouted, "I still love you!" in front of witnesses and spoke with calm concern for me and my future salvation. This Pseudo-Saint Performance is designed to win the PR war, that’s it. I didn’t buy it for one second.

Performance is not repentance. A truly repentant person does not bellow their love for an audience; they listen privately, own their choices, accept the consequences, and prove they are deeply sorry. His spoken “love” was just a tool for social dominance; it was done for appearances’ sake only.

When he couldn't play the good guy, he played the "I don’t remember” card. He renamed predatory acts as non-malicious, using Semantic Distortion to try to make me feel my trauma was overblown. When cornered, he would retreat into Tactical Amnesia, claiming he didn't remember. I know he remembers everything he did.

The fact that he nodded his head when I asked if he remembered and then said, I'm surprised this still bothers you, proves his amnesia was a strategic choice. Calling a crime a "non-malicious act" or a "mistake" is just a Machiavellian attempt to redefine reality. Intent does not trump impact.

And that’s not all he did in trying to silence me. He said, You're abusing our Mother by bringing this up. This weaponization of the mother casts me as the black sheep and the disruptor of family harmony. It’s also part of the “Attack” part of the DARVO playbook, trying to make me the villain.

It didn’t take long to acknowledge: The secret is the poison, not the truth. Telling the truth isn't what hurt the family; the original act is what hurt the family. Shifting the blame to the messenger is just a diversion to keep the spotlight off the perpetrator.

What he did to me was equal to having a bomb explode in the family. Right then and there, decades ago, the dysfunction was evident. And all these years I kept it hidden because I was protecting myself and the rest of the family from the truth. Doing so nearly killed me.

It is no longer my secret to carry.

What I’ve learned is that a Machiavellian doesn't need to prove you are a liar; they only need to create enough "gray area" that people feel comfortable doing nothing. They rely on the above strategies and more to keep from being held accountable – to run away from their own shame.

I realized that the gaslighting, the isolation, and the crushing family pressure weren't reflections of my worth—they were parts of a machine designed to protect a coward and the family’s reputation. The complexity of his lies is not a sign of his strength; it is a testament to how terrified he is of my voice.

I stopped trying to convince the people he had groomed. I stopped hoping that those who hurt and abandoned me would help heal me. I realized that if someone is more invested in a comfortable lie than an uncomfortable truth, they aren't safe harbour for my story anyway. My healing started when I stepped out of his architecture and started building my own.

His selfish recklessness treated a child, his little sister, like a sexual experimental toy, but I am a soul, not a toy. My spirit isn't gone—it was just forced into hiding for protection. Reclaiming my narrative is the first step in bringing that child-self back into the light.

I have spent a lifetime being a character in a script I didn't write, playing a role designed to protect a coward and other people’s feelings. No more! I am no longer seeking a 'verdict' from a jury that was groomed to doubt me. I am the Narrator now. I am the Curator and Creator of my own story. And in this story, the truth is no longer a secret to be kept—it is the ground I stand on.