Category: What I’ve Learned

Did you grow up in a family where it was said or implied that ‘what happens in this house stays in this house’? Or perhaps, ‘We don’t air our dirty laundry in public’. Or, ‘some things we just don’t talk about’. You were probably told that this is how we show respect to our family, […]

Childhood trauma often includes Emotional Neglect aka Emotional Abandonment. Emotional neglect is extremely painful for it sends the message that our feelings, opinions, needs and wants don’t matter. When there is zero to little communication on how we feel about what is happening, even if its about school or friendships, family dynamics, etc, if we […]

Silence – that is the biggest thing any perpetrator or abuser wants.   Silence at any cost, no matter what.   Silence ONLY benefits the perpetrator, the abuser. Silence NEVER helps the victim to feel empowered.   OR silence results after the child tells a parent and the parent doesn’t believe them.  Again, silence only helps the […]

Have you reached a time in your life that certain behaviours or some mindsets aren’t quite working for you anymore?  Are you noticing challenges socially, relationally, professionally? Have you hit a block somewhere and can’t seem to get past it? Are you finding that you are overly sensitive to criticism? Are you noticing that you […]

When we have been abused physically, sexually, or emotionally in childhood we don’t know what to do with the horrible feelings that remain inside of us. At such a young age, our brains are still developing so we are unable to comprehend that we are being coerced, manipulated, shamed, dominated or groomed or being used […]

Looking back, I am beginning to think I’ve lived pretty much the past 50+ years in various forms of dissociation. It’s amazing really, how the body and brain work so that I was able to grow up and accomplish all that I did while often being disconnected to my feelings and without a deep awareness […]

Have you heard of Cognitive Dissonance? Are you aware of what it is? Have you seen it in action in yourself? In others? What can you do when you are struggling with this yourself? How can you help yourself when seeing this in others? In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance occurs when a person […]

After hearing Brené’s podcast with Harriet Lerner on Apologizing I was reminded of some important truths: Those who’ve done the most damage often is the least able to apologize. Those who do a lot of harm do so because they come from a place of their own deep shame. The non-apologizers walk along a tight […]