As you know I’ve been reading more about Gaslighting lately and have come to learn that true Gaslighting is a type of communication that is done with the intent to create confusion and self doubt so the gaslighter can gain power or mastery over another, with the intent to wield power and control. Basically, what […]
alexcatalin
Creating and maintaining websites since 2002...ish.
Apologies
After hearing Brene’s podcast with Harriet Lerner on Apologizing I was reminded of some important truths: Those who’ve done the most damage often are the least able to apologize. Those who do a lot of harm do so because they come from a place of their own deep shame. The non-apologizers walk along a tight […]
Memories
Why is my memory not working right? Lab tests have shown that when trauma happens, the frontal lobe shuts down, including the region necessary to put feelings into words, the region that creates a sense of location in time, and the thalamus, which integrates the raw data of incoming sensations. Under ordinary conditions the rational […]
Spiritual Abuse
How familiar are you with the topic of Spiritual Abuse, Emotional Abandonment and Child Abuse? I often have heard that child abuse is Spiritual Abuse and while managing to *see how having an adult caregiver is cold and distant can impact a child’s relationship with God I wasn’t able to see beyond that. Here is […]
FAMILY SECRETS AND MOTTOS
Did you grow up in a family where it was said or implied that ‘what happens in this house stays in this house’? Or perhaps, ‘We don’t air our dirty laundry in public’. Or, ‘some things we just don’t talk about’. You were probably told that this is how we show respect to our family, […]
EMOTIONAL HEALING – JULY 2020
Childhood trauma often includes Emotional Neglect aka Emotional Abandonment. Emotional neglect is extremely painful for it sends the message that our feelings, opinions, needs and wants don’t matter. When there is zero to little communication on how we feel about what is happening, even if its about school or friendships, family dynamics, etc, if we […]
Cognitive Dissonance – MAY 15 2020
Have you heard of CD? Are you aware of What it is? Have you seen it in action in yourself? In others? What can you do when you are struggling with this yourself? How can you help yourself when seeing this in others? In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance occurs when a person holds […]
20 MONTHS INTO MY HEALING JOURNEY – MAY 1 2022
IN APRIL 2020, I was into my 20th month of full-on healing from being retraumatized by the same abuser who sexually assaulted me when I was 4 years old. In looking back over the years, 27 to be exact, I have been addressing my memories of the sexual abuse off and on. And so, this […]
SILENCE
Silence – that is the biggest thing any perpetrator or abuser wants. Silence at any cost, no matter what. Silence ONLY benefits the perpetrator, the abuser. Silence NEVER helps the victim to feel empowered. OR silence results after the child tells a parent and the parent doesn’t believe them. Again, silence only helps the […]
FEELING UNWORTHY – IMPOSTER SYNDROME, SEPTEMBER 20 2021
Have you reached a time in your life that certain behaviours or some mindsets aren’t quite working for you anymore? Are you noticing challenges socially, relationally, professionally? Have you hit a block somewhere and can’t seem to get past it? Are you finding that you are overly sensitive to criticism? Are you noticing that you […]